I feel bad...


I feel bad because I haven't kept up with this blog and I apologize to whom ever reads me!!


I have been such a good fucking girl though. I've been to the gym 5x a week for the past 3-4 weeks and on saturdays we go rollerblading and what not.


 But I haven't lost anything?! NOTHING! FUCK!!! Not even one fucking pound nothing. I don't want to give up, and I won't 'cause if I don't reach 130 = no kids! That's our bargain. I told Brendan we're gonna start a family when I get to 130. Not more. 


What more is there to do? You know that moment when you just feel like giving up. Fuck it. I'll just stay fat ... And miserable? And depressed? No. I want to be able to have sex with my husband, on top. Rocking a hot body and not a hot mess. I need to push myself more. More than ever. I need this this is now.


‎"I got to take care of myself...If not me then who?"


May xox